


bad communication

by mybffwonderwoman



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eating Disorders, F/M, Fatherhood, Internalized Homophobia, Learning and Growing, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POV Dennis, Post-Season/Series 12, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 08:51:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11010072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybffwonderwoman/pseuds/mybffwonderwoman
Summary: text messages from north dakota on assorted subjects. emojis courtesy of mac.





	1. texts from mac, mid-march

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ekaterinn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ekaterinn/gifts).



**Tuesday** 2:31 PM

_hey i kno ur probably busy settling in n evrything_

_but don’t forget to take ur meds_

 

**Friday** 4:02 PM 

_???????????????_

 

**Yesterday** 9: 43 PM

_can u just let me know that u got there alright n don’t need me 2 ship any of ur junk 2 u_

 

**Yesterday** 10:45 PM

I’m fine. 

 

_omfg i was beginning 2 think u had died in a plane crash dude!!!!!!! :O_

_but like_

_nothing was in the news so i didn't kno_

 

**Yesterday** 11:45 PM

_did u fall asleep_

_??_

 

Mac, we're not going to do hourly check-ins from across the country. That's absurd.

 

_i kno that dude_

_obviously_

_but u didn't answer my questions and like_

_we haven't talked in like a week_

 

Are you really serious?

It seems impossible that you wouldn't know why I wouldn't want to talk to you.

You torched my Rnage Rover!

**Range 

 

_r u mad abt that??????????_

 

You fucking blew it up with a goddamn RPG! YES, I am mad about that!

 

_dennis that's such bullshit_

_u weren't even gonna use them anyomre_

 

HOW ON EARTH WOULD YOU KNOW THAT WITH SUCH CONFIDENCE THAT YOU WOULD BLOW THEM UP ASSHOLE?????????

 

_u turned off the lites in the bar while we were still standing there!!!!!!!! that's a pretty potent message dude!!!!!!!!! >:( _

 

I'm not having a fight with you over text message from North Dakota.

I am a father, I am a responsible employee of Applebee's now, Mandy and I are doing great. I don't need this. 

 

**Today** 1:37 AM

_whatever dude_

 

**Today** 2:16 AM

_just keep taking ur meds n eating good pls_


	2. texts from dee, a few hours later

**Today** 11:45 AM

  _Hey_

_I hear you were talking to mac last night_

_What’s that aboutt huh_

 

I’m shocked that I’m hearing from you before noon.

 

_Oh so you’re answering right away now_

_Because_

_He said it took forever for you to get back to him_

 

Yeah, well, I was pissed, Dee.

 

_Also sorry i like to sleep or whatever_

_Wait_

_Is this seriously about the range rover_

 

WHY

Why does everyone find it so unbelievable that I would be mad about you idiots blowing up my car?!

 

_Uh you left it behind for starters_

 

Did it ever occur to you that this might be an act of generosity while I’m gone?!

 

_Hahahahahahhaa_

_Yeah i can safely say that you doning something out of generosity never occurred to us_

_Also_

_“While i’m gone” lmao_

_Uhhhh did i miss something or are you never coming back and whatever_

 

I don’t know, Dee.

 

**Today** 1:26 PM

 

I could come back. Right?

 

**Today** 3:03 PM

 

_Oh shit sorry just saw this_

_Is mandy kind of bitch or something haha_

 

No!

It’s just weird being away from the bar and everything.

 

_Oh yeah_

_Yikes i would hate that so much_

 

Of course you would, you alcoholic bitch.

 

_Listen_

_At least i didn’t impregnate some rando_

_And make a kid spend the first years of his life w/o a dad so_

 

Jesus, Dee.

I have to get back to work.

 

_Wait are you mad_

_You were mean to me first_

 

**Today** 6:39 PM

 

_Hey i’m sorry about_

_All that_

_It’s weird talkign to you over text_

_I can’t tell if you’re being fun mean_

_Or real mean_

_You know what i mean_

_Anwyay obviously you didn’t know about Brian_

_And it’s not like they remember being babies or whatever_

_I think you’re doing like a good thing_

_Just like dont yell at him you know_

_The kid_

_Ugh you know what i mean right_

 

**Today** 9:12 PM

 

Yeah, I know what you mean.

 

**Today** 9:57 PM

 

Thanks.

 

**Today** 11:08 PM

 

_You’re welcome i guess_

_Haha we sound so fancy_


	3. texts from mandy, two weeks later

**Monday** 9:05 AM

 

_ Hey! Are you on your way over?  _

 

Yeah, sorry, the water was off when I got up thsi morning and I had a hell of a time trying to get the motel to fix it.

**this morning

 

_ You should have just told me!  _

_ What’s your ETA ya think??  _

 

I’ll be in the car in 5 minutes.

 

_ See you in 15 then _

_ Thank you again for doing this, I haven’t gotten to have a girls day in forever!!! _

 

No problem.

 

_ Also don’t tell him I told you but I think Brian’s excited for a  day with his dad :) _

 

Me, too.

 

**Monday** 3:23 PM

 

_ I’m not being a helicopter mom I swear but I just wanted to check in - you boys ok? _

 

You’re good. We’re doing good.

He was pretty quiet at first, but I think he warmed up to me okay.

 

**Monday** 6:45 PM

 

_ Oh my gosh, I just wanna say how much I’m grateful for your help today again!! _

_ Brian must have had a great time b/c all smiles over here  _

 

I’m glad.

 

_ What books did you guys read?? _

 

The Very Hungry Caterpillar about 16 times cover to cover.

 

_ Hahahaha that sounds about right _

_ You should try some Beatrix Potter ones next time!! _

_ I know some ppl think they’re a bit girly _

 

No, those books are awesome!

I read them a lot growing up.

 

_ But I think the illustrations are great _

_ Oh, I’m glad we agree!!! :) _

_ Well inside tip _

_ Ms. Tiggy-Twinkle is his favorite so you should definitely read that next time _

 

**Today** 2:56 PM

 

_ Hey wait what happened with you and Jon? _

 

It’s fine. He just took me aside because of this thing with a customer.

 

_ Is everything okay?? _

 

Yeah.

It was stupid.

Basically, this idiot kept trying to order those discontinued steak fajitas

And I kept TRYING to tell him that we don’t the ingredients to make them

**don’t have the

But he didn’t believe me OF COURSE and I yelled I guess.

 

_ Ohhh _

_ That’s always tough _

_ You kinda have to let that stuff roll off your back. _

 

**Today** 3:15 PM

 

That’s not easy for me.

 

**Today** 3:32 PM

 

_ Hey Dennis I know this is none of my business and I’ve been trying not to intrude or anythign and you just made this huge move and I know a lot’s up in the air rn but have you ever talked to a therapist or anything? _

 

**Today** 7:22 PM

 

Just got home, sorry. 

I don’t know. 

There was a whole thing in Philly that didn’t really work out.

 

**Today** 8:06 PM

 

Do you know a good place that I could check out?


	4. notes on dennis’ phone, april

**food diary**

Yesterday

 

4/21

7 AM: dry cheerios (7) and banana from motel breakfast room

10 AM: 1 cup of black coffee

3:15 PM: leftover tortilla chips (3) from a table I cleared

4 PM: Clif Bar, blueberry crisp kind, from Mandy’s purse

9 PM: whole bag of beef jerky, 2 Miller Lites, from corner store

 

4/22

8:30 AM: Chocolate Ensure shake, 1 cup of coffee with cream

11:30 AM: almonds (12)

4:45 PM: Fuji apple, got one of the cooks to peel it for me

7:55 PM: Pad see ew with beef and broccoli, takeout ordered by Mandy

 

4/24

8:30 AM: Green juice, bought at smoothie place

11:45 PM: Six-pack of Bud Light Lime, almonds (18)

 

4/25

7 AM: Banana

9:30 AM: English muffin, toasted with butter, 3 cups of coffee with cream

12 PM: Turkey sandwich with mustard and lettuce and tomato, made myself

3:15 PM: Almonds (7, I think?)

5:15 PM; Baby carrots (14)

8 PM: Microwave meal with chicken and rice

 

**Hi, Mac!**

6:36 PM

 

Hi, Mac!

Hey, Mac. My therapist

Hey, I know I haven’t been in contact a lot and you’re probably mad

Okay, so

Hey. Mac. I’ve been wanting to write this for a long time and I just didn’t know how to verbalize or whatever my therapist told me I have to do this along with all the other stupid shit like making me put alarms on my phone to take my meds and write down all the shit I eat which is all stuff you used to do or help me with or whatever and she said that was the point that I’ve removed myself from my “support system” and that this was both an act of growth and self-sabotage which I don’t even know where she got her goddamn degree now that I’m thinking about it and she keeps asking me what I’m so angry about all the time and she never believes any of my answers or she says I need to “ dig deeper” and

Hello, Mac. I’m writing you from an Applebee’s bathroom which is an effective metaphor for how I’m doing

Mac, I have a series of questions for you that I never asked and Dr. Lisa keeps implying that it is because I am afraid of the answers, and to prove this bitch wrong 

Mac, I think I wanted


	5. texts from dee, beginning of may

**Today,** 2:57 AM   


Hey. Have you talked to Mac at all recently?

 

_u nouh it duud_

 

What

Dee, are you finally dying of alcohol poisoning?

 

_no y du u sey theat??????????_

 

Charlie?

 

_me!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

Why are you on Dee’s phone?

 

_min bruk & she iz in toylet _

 

Your phone is the toilet or Dee?

Jesus, dude, it takes you three minutes to write out every sentence.

 

_sweet dee in toylet so i ansur fone_

_y r u assking abowt mac?????_

 

I don’t know, dude, I just haven’t heard from him in a while.

 

_hav u texttid him_

 

No.

 

_duud_

_u nouh he like text frum u_

_u nouh how kats bleenk wen thay r hapee?????_

 

I guess?

 

_if mac wus kat he wud bleenk @ u_

_rit now he not bleenk a lot_

_u bleenking????????????????????_

 

Charlie, everyone has to blink or their eyeballs dry up and fall out.

 

_dont b a bastert man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_u no wut i meen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

Can you just tell Dee I was trying to reach her? She can call me whnever you finish closing up.

**whenever

 

_wut u meen we allredee hoam_

 

Why are you at Dee’s?

 

_Hey sorry i’m back haha_

_Charlie’s just_

_You know charlie just trying to be helpful haha_

_Just_

_You know_

_Anwyay what’s this about mac_

 

What is Charlie doing at your house?

 

_Well he’s sure not sleeping with me haha_

_Becuase that’s be insane huh_

_We’d all have a good laugh about that am i right_

 

I didn’t begin to think that was what was happening until you said that!

Now that’s exactly what I think is happening!

 

_Well_

_Well  i don’t have to defend my choices!!!_

_You’re not even here_

_Everything’s different so_

_!!!!_

_You know_

 

I DON’T KNOW!

BECAUSE YOU NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING!

 

_Oh because you tell me everything_

_You faker_

_Like you would tlel me anything_

_You have big feelings or whatever_

_But you don’t tell me about them and whatever weird shit you and mac are up to??_

_But oh i have to disclose every time charlie and i do ti_

 

I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN WITH THIS

MAC AND I AREN”T UP TO ANYTHING DEE!!!!!!!!

 

_Well then you wish there was_

 

ALSO THIS THING WITH CHARLIE HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR A WHILE I GUESS??????

 

_Wait oh my god are you jealous_

 

JEALOUS OF YOU

JEALOUS THAT YOU’RE MAKING OUT WITH A MAN THAT DANCES NAKED IN THE SEWERS

 

_Oh shit you’re mad that i am in philly and i’m with charlie!!!!!_

_And mac is living it up in gay clubs_

_And you’re in north fucking dakota_

 

THAT’S NOT WHAT THIS IS

WHAT CLUBS WOULD HE EVEN GO TO????

THAT”S NOT WHAT THIS IS

 

_Sounds fake but okay_

_I have to go now charlie and i have to bone_

_Bye asshole_

 

Dee, you’re not serious!

Dee.

Dee.

I can’t believe this.

 

 **Today** 4:12 AM

 

Well, what am I supposed to do?

 

_Goddamn it go to sleep_

_And call me in the morning_


	6. texts from mac, two days later

**Today** 7:42 PM

 

Hey.

 

_ omg dennis :O _

_ i was just thinking abt u _

_ we went 2 see thunder gun 2 today dude n it was so good _

_ dude!!!!!!! _

_ hangs!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_ dong!!!!!!!!!! _

_ again!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_ u seen it yet???? _

 

No. It’s a little hard to go see movies with Brian and work.

 

_ oh ya of course _

_ well u should go on ur next day off!!! _

 

It’s kind of weird to go by myself to see Thunder Gun.

 

_ tell me when ur gonna go n i can go see it again here _

_ we can text each other thru the whoel thing _

_ and it’ll be like were 2gether!!!! :) _

 

Mac, are you not mad at me?

 

_ no dude!!!!!!!!  _

_ why would i b _

 

I’ve been completely out of contact for a month! I was being an ASSHOLE

 

_ yeah but idk _

_ dee said u were busy being a dad n that’s a good thing dude!!! _

_ also chris said i needed 2 give us both room 2 grow n stuff _

_ instead of like depending validation all the time  _

 

Is Chris your boyfriend?

 

**Today** 8:15 PM

 

_ srry there was another shoe toilet emergency smh _

_ no haha chris is my therapist _

 

Jesus, dude. 

 

_ ya i know we said therapy was lame n whatever but he’s been really cool _

 

No, sorry.

I’m actually seeing a therapist, too.

 

_ reallly???  _

_ is he badass bc chris is badass _

 

It’s a woman, actually.

 

_ oh _

_ r u trying 2 bang her? _

 

No! Mac, that’s super inappropriate!

 

_ dude i kno that!!!!!! _

_ i just thought it might have been one of ur challenges or whatever _

 

No, I don’t really do that anymore.

 

_ oh _

_ is that bc _

_ r u in love w mandy _

 

NO

No, Mac, we’re just 

We’re just trying to raise Brian right together. That’s it.

We’re friends.

 

**Today** 8:35 PM

 

Mac?

 

**Today** 9:32 PM

 

_ it’s just _

_ dude we were friends _

_ and u didn’t want 2 raise brian w me _

_ and like i kno i’m not _

 

MAC I’m his real dad I HAVE A REAL RESPONSIBILITY

 

_ ur like his real parents or whatever _

_ i kno that!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_ i just _

 

YES??

 

_ i just miss u dude _

 

I miss you, too.

A lot, actually.

 

_ :’) _

 

Haha, are you serious, dude?

 

_ :) _

 

Would you come here?

 

_ wait wahat do u mean _

 

Would you come to see me here? 

Like whenever you’re not busy or whatever

 

_!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_ i can come rn!!!!!!!!!!!!!  _

 

I mean I’m sure you have to check with Dee and Frank and everybody before just jumping on a plane.

 

_ dennis i just literally yelled 2 dee can i go 2 north dakota rn _

_ and she said ya _

_ so i think it’s cool dude!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

 

Do you have enough money for a plane ticket?!

 

_ lmao _

_ ya i made them pay more bc i have 2 do more work w u gone _

_ so i have a savings account n everything dude _

_ its pretty sweet _

 

Okay.

 

_ do u not want me 2 come???? _

 

No! I do. 

I just 

I feel really good. 

 

_ :)))))))) _

_ k i gotta go get my stuff n bag lol _

_ is north dakota 2 cold 4 sleeveless _

_ nvm i’ll just bring them _

_ see u soon!!!!!!!!  _


	7. notes on dennis’ phone, three hours later

**Dear Mac**

12:44 AM

 

Dear Mac

You’re going to be on a plane in a few hours and then you’re going to be here. It feels fucking insane to write that out because no rational person would drop everything to go see someone who

I’m 

Thank you. 

For being warm when I am not.

For 

Dr. Lisa who I am extremely grudgingly not going to call a bitch because she is doing her job when she asks me hard questions says that I spend all my time thinking about what I look like to people which is true because how people see you is important! Obviously!!

But she says well not says but INTIMATES that it results in a facade which doesn’t allow people to really see me. And maybe 

I think I do certain things because I don’t think I should be happy. 

Like 

Have sex with women.

She says I’m not supposed to erase things I write even if I think they’re dumb after I’ve written them which MAC THAT’S ALL I DO write and erase and rewrite messages to you

Which is probably indicative

Of how I feel.

You’re going to be here in eight hours.

Eight hours.

You could stand on your head that long if you had to, right?

I can wait that long.

I can wait.

And then we’ll see.

**Author's Note:**

> i continue to increase my debt of gratitude to cmc exponentially. thank you so much for your patience & fresh hot validation every time i got stumped. 
> 
> apologies to sufjan for stealing the title of this fic from his incredible song of the same name. thanks to carly rae jepsen for releasing "cut to the feeling" on the day i was finishing writing this. she gets it.


End file.
